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Random thoughts, rants, and concerns.

I is at WERKKK....arghhh!
surprizingly though, I'm in a pretty good mood (-_-) If only I weren't here.

And I dunno y? I just feel like my blood pressure is actually lower and lots of other things about me are a lot better now that my play is over. For a while now I've actuially been able to feel my heartbeat resounding through my whole chest and I was told not long ago my pulse was borderline 100! I guess you could say my anxiousness definitely affects me physically. Or sumthing like that...idk. Hopefully I'll sleep better now 2! I've been living off of Excedrin and caffeine for weeks-I always only seem to wanna sleep when I really shouldn't! Ughr!

I think it went pretty well all things considered.I mean several lines were stumbled on, and one scene change took like over a minute, and "rick" was almost called eric by accident, but so far as acting goes and all the cues that I could see...evrybody did amazing! I am so proud of them all. But GOD! they made me so nervous this week when some ppl forgot things we've been doing for weeks, haha.

I know everybody is probably glad the play is finally finished..I know my family is if no one else is. I'm sure I've been an unbearable bitch to them at least. Probably to sum others-but I honestly dnt care about the rest. I hope everybody knows that if I had been even the slightest bit nicer in rehearsals we wouldnt have gotten anything done. But they really surprized me at how seriously they took everything yesterday and how well everybody worked together to get ready. I just feel great knowing that ppl did all of this for me. I know a few of them are just actor alumni and would have been there regardless of the director, but I also know sum of them had plenty of other things they could've been doing. (I especially love my tech team for graciously being there with only a few days notice and seeing it through to the end) I just don't think they all realize that I'm more proud of this than pretty much anything else I've done b4.

Now I might get a better evaluation from my mentor at brody since the only thing I'll be doing now besides going to see him is tennis. I made it clear to Mr. Tyer that I intended to play tennis no matter what, but it was up to him whether or not I was actually seeded or not. Because the Hn. Med Program has to come first-I wont let myself be kicked out of it after all the fucking hours (and gas to get there) I've put into it so far. Of course W. Tyer is awesome and says, "dont worry about it man, just do the best you can and keep me posted." Not trying to be pessimistic, but I really wouldn't be happy if somebody like me, who hasn't come to practices for the first three weeks took my place in the lineup for tennis games. It was piss me off substantially! However, this is my fourth year and their first....idk. Maybe they deserve it more than me. I just understand that its not my first priority, never has been. 8/

Writer's Block: Where your memories began.

well, the first memory ....well memories I can think of r those of me and my best friend(Tiff) in the whole world bein together all of the time, and I was always with my cousin when I wasn't with her. I remember going to the beach alot with the friends I had back then.....mostly to get away from home. We really didn't feel comfortable to stay home too frequently---Dad. =( THose were times when I was happy...I mean like always happy because even though we had plenty of problems, I didn't really understand or know about many of them. I didn't sweat the small stuff. Mom always kept me away from the conflicts and Bullshit. (I love her for that, and for every other selfless act she's ever made!) and I remember every trip to the mountains and all special family holidays too! They were so special to mee, we all seemed to "forget" or "leave behind" our judgments and dislikes for each other and just showed love and have fun nonstop....for a while. But yea, I can't think of a distinct memory...just a specific time period when things were different.... before I learned what life was all about, I guess.

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chaseee123
chaseee123

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